Pronouns and names, in general, are important. Using them tells a student that you see them and respect them. Gender is on a spectrum, so it can’t be confined to the binary that many in the US seem to think are the only options. As such, some individuals may prefer different pronouns than what you may be used to and different names to go along with those pronouns. Some may use the standard she/her and he/him pronouns, or they may use the gender neutral option of they/them. Some may even use neopronouns, the most common of which is currently xe/xem/xyr (said: zee/zem/zeer), ze/zir/zirs (said: zee/zer/zers- like she/her pronouns but wih a “z” instead of an “h”), and ey/em/eir (said like they/them pronouns but without the “th” sound at the beginning).
At this point you might be thinking: why should I care about this chosen name and pronoun business? The answer is actually pretty simple: if you care about and respect the student you are talking to, it is only common courtesy to refer to them as they wish to be referred to. This person may have gone through a lot of trouble to settle on a name and set of pronouns, as well as get the general populace to recognize them for who they are. You could make their life a lot easier by doing your best to use their preferred name and pronouns. By not doing so, you may make the student feel invalidated and disrespected, which could have a major adverse effect on their mental health overall. I know how difficult it can be to adjust to a sudden change, so here’s some helpful tips for using preferred names and pronouns:
1) Never assume! Despite how they may appear, the student may use pronouns that differ from what your first assumption.
2) Always ask! Nine times out of ten the person will be happier that you're making an effort than mad that you don’t know or need to be reminded.
3) Share your own! Help make it more normalized to use pronouns in everyday life and help your students stand out less as the only one.
4) Apologize and then move on. If you make a mistake: correct yourself, apologize, and quickly go back to the previous subject. Lingering on the mistake can make the whole situation more awkward for everyone involved.
5) Avoid the binary. Using gendered language can often make transgender people feel even more like an outcast. For example, instead of using “ladies and gentlemen” try using “you all”. No matter the situation, help make your students feel welcome with your word choice.
6) Help Out. Correct your colleagues and students when they mess up. If they truly support your student(s) then they will be glad for the help remembering the correct name and pronouns.
7) Practice! After all, practice makes perfect!! Hopefully you take my message to heart and can use these pointers in your school or even just among friends. Trust me, it will be well worth any trouble it may feel like.
Alix Snodgrass (they/them),
Social Media Coordinator/ Administrative Assistant/ Student Coach
Comentários